Access 12 months of the tools and skills you need to heal yourself, grow your relationships, and connect with your purpose in a community of exceptional men.
It was something trivial like leaving a glob of toothpaste in the sink. "How did we get here?" you ask. You are both delirious, you need to sleep, but no one is sleeping until this gets resolved. You sit there trying to stay awake and engaged. You wonder if there is any way out of this conflict. Right now you feel powerless to do anything differently in the future. Is this how your life will always be?
Does this argument sound familiar?
Here are 3 ways you might be feeling ...
Sandbagged
You feel sandbagged! You work hard to keep the peace and to do the right thing, yet you find yourself in arguments that drop out of the sky and never seem to end.
What if you could see these conflicts coming and say just the right thing to stop the argument in its tracks? No tricks, no BS, just a solid, strategic, consistent response that allows you and your partner to quickly repair and enjoy the rest of your day.
Slandered
You're a good person, and a good partner. But they make you feel like the worst person on the planet every time you get into an argument.
What if you could could approach your next conflict with such sturdiness that you could hold your goodness, and their hurt at the same time? You are able to acknowledge that you made your partner feel bad, without feeling like you are a bad person.
Stuck
You feel stuck in a loop! Even when you have resolved the conflict, your partner brings it up again, and each time you feel like all of your progress is lost. Here we go again!
What if you could take such complete ownership of the hurt you caused that it doesn't matter how many times your partner brings it up, you will always own it completely and permanently.
January's challenge is to Remember Who You Are. We will dive into self-discovery through the lens of the Enneagram.
The main tool we will use is our Hero's Journey Map which will lead us through the year.
Other tools we will use include the ancient application of the Enneagram and Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey.
Learn the tools you need to gain mastery at each step, with support and accountability from your community.
When men fail in life or relationships, we often label it a character defect, which can bring on shame.
After working with men for the past 15 years, I don't believe in a lack of character, only a lack of skill.
(heal/him) is about developing those skills of character that will give you the strategy and confidence you need to face your greatest challenges.
What if practicing the wrong skills is what is standing between you and the life you desire?
LOVE FROM OUR COMMUNITY
“Daniel has built a diverse coalition of men who gather weekly to listen and share what’s going on in their lives. It’s a unique offering that invites open, honest storytelling and camaraderie is a natural result.”
Marty Butler
It's an environment where we can explore and define masculinity in a broad, inclusive way. These gatherings offer a powerful opportunity for healing, self-discovery, and connection in community. I highly recommend this experience to any man ready to do the work, grow, and find deeper meaning in his journey."
Barry James
"This community is focused on the problems faced by men in our modern world. It’s given me new ideas for parenting and helped me understand relationship challenges that often don’t compute for my male brain.”
Angus Mitchell
REGISTER
MEMBERSHIP FEATURES
Catalyst Membership
Virtual workshops
Weekly Challenge + Skill Packet
Videos, worksheets, and scripts
Videos, worksheets, and scripts (online Fridays)
Practice Partner for Support & Accountability
Alchemist Membership
Virtual workshops + Live meetings
Weekly Challenge + Skill Packet
Videos, worksheets, and scripts
Videos, worksheets, and scripts (online Fridays)
Practice Partner for Support & Accountability
Wednesday In-Person Weekly Sessions
(Austin-area only)
COMMUNITIES PROUDLY SERVED
DANIEL HOPE
(heal/him) FOUNDER
Daniel Hope (he/him) I believe that we are all vulnerable heroes finding our way forward on a collective path. As a student and teacher of the Enneagram and the Hero’s Journey, I have developed my own approach that combines these frameworks with my background as a therapist.
If you're reading this, then it's probably for you
If you identify as male, then this program is probably for you. If you know in your heart that you are on a Hero's Journey, but you are doing it without a map, then this program is for you. And if you feel like your primary relationship is often standing in the way and not propelling you on your journey, then this program is certainly for you.
Let us be gently, but firmly, guided by our shirt collars
Let me begin by telling you a story about my grandfather, Thelbert Miller. This story was relayed to me at his funeral. A woman who was a friend of the family, with a young child, came to my grandparents for help. Her husband had moved out and refused to offer any support, so the wife and daughter had lost their home and had no place to stay. My grandparents took them in and my grandfather asked some details about where the husband worked and when he would be paid.
That Friday my grandfather met the husband at his workplace and greeted him in a friendly tone. “Bill, I heard you’ve had some trouble getting your child support payments to your wife and daughter.” The man stammered uncomfortably, then my grandfather continued, “Don’t worry about it. I understand that seeing your ex-wife can be awkward, so I’m going to give you a ride to the bank and take that child support money to her myself, come hop in.” My grandfather then proceeded to guide him gently, but firmly, by his shirt collar into the car and did just that.
Needless to say, he never missed another child support payment and, though I don’t know what was going on in Bill’s heart, I have to imagine that he felt some relief after being kindly and firmly guided into doing the right thing.
Camaraderie and Accountability
Sometimes this is exactly the thing we men need from one another. We don’t just need friendship and support, we also need accountability. We need someone who cares enough to tell us when we are wrong and how we are to make things right. Camaraderie and accountability are both things you can expect from this gathering of men, here to support one another.
How does it work?
I have been leading groups for over 15 years and I am constantly amazed by the alchemy that can happen when people truly show up and allow themselves to be seen and heard. This can be supported by ensuring safety and confidentiality. It can also be catalyzed by a framework that intentionally connects us on a level that transcends status, and ego, and any of the things that fool us into thinking that we are inferior or superior to one another.
Something new each week
Embedded into each week are the fundamentals of the framework I have used for many years to help people navigate change. We will explore these powerful concepts through interactive processes using everything from conceptual poetry to tactical worksheets.
If you would like to experience the full range of human emotion, that is your birthright ...
If you would like to understand why you are often the greatest barrier to your own progress ...
If you would like to bring back the Elixir to your family and your community at every step of your Hero’s Journey ..
If you are still reading this, then this program is definitely for you.
I hope you will join me and the rest of your brothers as we journey and heal together.
WHY THIS WORK IS IMPORTANT
As men, we learn early how we should show up around our peers and family members. We learn that some parts of ourselves are not safe to share with the world. We internalize this way of being and then we turn around and police our male peers. Look back to our fathers, grandfathers and we see varying degrees of the same thing: Men living their lives with both their joy and grief limited, narrowed down to a pathetic spectrum. We compress our big feelings so tightly, we may not realize we are poised to pass on our limited range of being to our own children and their children.
But what if we could be the ones to break this cycle?
I find that, as men, our most direct path back to being fully human is through our grief. This isn't an easy pathway, but the wholeness it can reveal makes the journey worthwhile. This wholeness is then reflected in our relationships, our marriage and our work. Part of my own grief work is writing poetry. I wrote this poem, Healing the Prometheus Tree with a desire to put into words the opportunity we have as men to heal ourselves and the wounded Patriarchy, of which we are both benefactors and victims.
If you are ready to join a community of exceptional men who will help you break this cycle, register below.
Our Approach
Some of the tools we will use in our gatherings
The Half-LitPath
Our collective imagination is limited by binary thinking. The Half-Lit Path lets us navigate skillfully between two seeming opposites to find our path of transformation.
4D ChangeModel
This model helps us understand why change is so hard and also gives us a roadmap for understanding these four universal stages. We begin with Discernment and we end with Discovery.
Elixir atEvery Step
The Elixir, or reward, we seek on our Hero's Journey is not found at the very end, when it is often too late. We must bring back the Elixir to our families and community at every step.
Frequently Asked Questions
This gathering is for anyone identifying male who would like to experience more wholeness in the presence of other men - both through support and accountability.
I believe that we can all benefit from acknowledging something higher than ourselves. All that we ask you to bring is an open heart and a listening ear.
You are not required to attend every week, and the purpose of this group is to create community which requires us to show up together as fully and as often as possible. Come as you are able, some portions of meetings will be recorded so you can watch them later.
While virtual and in-person gatherings are for men only, the material you will receive each week is perfect for couples, and can be complementary to couples therapy.
Absolutely! It's important to state this up front, (heal/him) is an intentionally feminist program. Feminism is the belief in and pursuit of gender equality by challenging systemic injustice, miseducation, and harmful stereotypes. When one gender is oppressed, we all suffer, and it is incumbent upon us, as men, to use our privilege to fight this oppression and heal our wounded Patriarchy.
Without question, (heal/him) stands in support of all genders and all expression of human sexuality. Much of the material focuses on straight, cisgender men, because we are the portion of the population who are not currently doing our healing work. So we have a lot of catching up to do! But, if you identify as male, you are welcome in the (heal/him) community.
The Patriarchy is wounded and, in its woundedness, has caused great harm to our fellow humans, and our planet. (heal/him) believes that the Patriarchy has oppressed the Matriarchy for millennia. The solution is not to destroy the Patriarchy, or replace it hierarchically with the Matriarchy. Systems that place one group over another is what caused the woundedness that we are all suffering from today. Rather, we are here to bring the Matriarchy and Patriarchy into a place of relationship. Just like a husband can learn to replace outdated authority with partnership and co-creation, we believe that the Patriarchy can do the same. But we men have a lot of work to do!
If you are interested in bringing (heal/him) to a group (peer, church, etc.) please contact daniel@danielhope.co for additional resources.